Review of 2012

Hi ladies & gentlemen,

It is such a long period that I did not have post these few months about myself since my previous post in August. I have no idea where is this mood suddenly comes from persuading me to write here. Well, just let me update some about myself.

2012 is about to end in 2 more days and I realized I did not set any goal for myself at the beginning. Anyway, I would like to conclude, 2012 is a year that full of sweet & sour for me.

I ended 2011 with a lil bit of sour and started my 2012 with some sweet.......affairs? And I thought that could be continued till which day it supposed to end...or no ending which I hoped, but good things do not always go as you wished. Everything changed. Out of expected. Without any reason. It just ended with no starting at all. That breaks my heart. Till now. And I am stupid and stubborn enough for waiting for no reason, when I know that's not gonna happened. It's been a year. I locked myself in my own world and set a sky high firewall to protect myself. Cuz I don't wanna get myself hurt again. I got pain enough.

February, I resigned from my first job. There is totally a place full of bitter (Bitter is the best word to describe) even for my job, memories......Last day of the month was my last day of work. After I quit, I decided, I do not want to go back to hotel industry. I wanna do something I really like. I like teaching. I like kids. I wanted to be a teacher. A Mandarin teacher. Tried to get students during my jobless period at home, but failed. Parents were stressing me as I was jobless sitting at home for a week, and they were thinking I wasted their money for studied hospitality but I don't work in the same industry. My thinking is totally different. People study for better future. To get a paper that proves your study level in order to get a good job and more money in future. What's the purpose of working? To earn money. What's the purpose we want money? To get better life. So, what you work for is that a matter as long as you can earn more money? And of course it has to be legal la. At the end, I back to hotel, again.

March, I met a senior online and saw her status posted in her Facebook about job vacancy. I asked about it and I never thought that I must be selected. Arranged my resume and decided to try my luck. At least this is something new for me. Went for interview, and I got the job few days after. Started my second job on 19th March 2012. This is totally a new experience for me, as I was doing Human Resources for my first job. I felt it interesting and challenging. I love it. Got to know more people since I joined, they are friendly and nice, regardless with their position. This is what I appreciated. And of course, it is an international hotel chain under a big organization. I am proud of it.

April - June, I worked and got confirmed on 19th June 2012. I can tell people I am a confirmed employee under Le Meridien Kuala Lumpur! These few months are sweet moments for me. Even working in the office, busy or not busy I always have my team's support. And, I had my graduation day in May. I'm officially graduated!

July, Sales moved into cluster and I been selected to be part of the team called Malaysia National Sales Team (MNST). Some of us are required to change working base to another property and I was worried about this, as I do not want to move to The Westin Kuala Lumpur. First reason is, I don't want to leave my property team. Second, hardly I escaped from my previous working place, all bad memories gonna come back to me if I ever moved to there and base there again. Thank god the management heard me and never moved my base. Till now I am still base in Le Meridien Kuala Lumpur.

August, Those who supposed to move their base moved to their assigned property. Some of them from Sheraton Imperial and The Westin moved to Le Meridien and we get to know each other well. We had an interesting team building activity something like Amazing Race called ‘KL 360: Starwood Quest’. We get to know each other well with completed task assigned with our teamwork. The best thing was, we were rewarded foot massage after the half day walking and running in KL. Starwood treats us not bad:) 

September, Malaysia National Sales Team kicked off. That night was ‘Starwood Has Talent Night’. We invited all clients from corporates, travel agencies, MICE and government to introduce MNST. That night was really a fun night. Besides that, I wasn't know the god actually arranged an affair for me. This guy added me in Facebook few days after we talked on the phone without any meeting face to face, and we started our first date 2 weeks after. He was a very caring guy, always concern about myself in working or any situation. He confronted to me at the night in our first date. I never expected I could ever had a guy said such thing to me. I was surprised. At the end of course I doubt is that real? Or I was dreaming? Or he just probably joking? Anyway, I leave it for observation. I know you probably know who you are if you are reading this. :)

I did something which I felt the most craziest thing in my life so far! I took leaves and booked a flight to Singapore. Alone. Yes, ALONE! I took the flight alone! And I was enjoying it. Throw every luggage into cabin including my hand luggage just bring along my handbag with me, relaxed with no burden. Travel alone actually not a bad thing, despite of the security issue, I will try again with some places I know well. 

October -  November, Things go as usual. I went out for dates with my admire some of the weekends haha. My mind actually wandering, shall I accept him as he was really treating me very well, fetched me to airport from my home and from airport to home during my Singapore trip, bought me gifts, fetched me to work and back to home during his leaves, organized my birthday party secretly and gave me surprise, these were actually what a boyfriend does to his girlfriend. Honestly, I feel lucky enough to have a guy really cares me. I still remembered he bought me a hot pad and sent it to my house when he knows I am sick due to caught cold. I was wandering at a + junction, as I am tired of taking care of people and their feeling, being cared is not a bad option and it might happier than taking care of people. But, at the end, I rejected him, after few dates with him. I just realized I am kind of person that to care and to love. In other way, I was trying to forget everything about the past that really hurt me much. I don't know perhaps I'm afraid of getting hurt again, or I am waiting for a person that able to set my firewall off. If you're reading this, I wanted to apologize. I don't want you to waste your time on me. It's not worth. I am more comfortable with being friends with you, just like how when we just knew each other. Anyway, thanks for everything given. That will be part of sweet memories for me:)

December, The last month in 2012. This is a mixing of sweet and sour month. This month reminded me some of the sweet, sour and bitter memories last year. Christmas, new year......Last Christmas it was nothing special for me, the only thing I did, was I touched my piano again after few months because of him. I practice till no mistakes at all, recorded it down and played it to him. Just because he said he wanted to listen. I did not have any Christmas present last year and this Christmas, I received 5 gifts from my beloved friends and colleagues! 

Soon, new year eve is just tomorrow. The pictures of last new year eve are still appear in my mind sometimes...I wondered, are you still remember about it? Movie, shopping, Baskin Robin's ice-cream, fireworks, Starbucks......that's was our first date, also the last date. I couldn't believe it just ended like that. You walked away without telling me anything. You just fooling me? Or I was the one thinking too much? If you are not prepared why approached me? I was waiting someday you could come over and tell me the reason. As long as I get an answer, I know what's the answer. Better than now I'm hanging around and don't know where to land on. I'm disappointed to bet you are avoiding in seeing me. I told myself, if 21st December will be end of the world, or I could stay alive if there's really a change of the world, I will throw your note and the paperclip, delete the photos and memories, start the day with another new of myself. Too bad, I keep giving myself excuses not to throw all that. Because I cared. Another new year coming soon, not sure about how am I gonna pass thru that day, but I'm sure I gonna think of those pictures again when I see fireworks. 

Hopefully 2013 will be a better year for me. I have goals to set, fight for a better future and my career. Conclusion for 2012, I appreciated whoever concerned, supported and treated me well, wish you guys and girls have a very good new year too.